Kinky dating: Tips for dating as a kinkster

Kinky dating: Tips for dating as a kinkster

Finding a partner is tough, regardless of your sexual preferences.

However, finding your other half when looking for a kinkster can be even tougher. Knowing where and how to find someone who shares your exciting desires is difficult in a vanilla world.

Relationships are about compromise, but there are some preferences you just can’t ignore. Don’t sacrifice your sex life for a partner. There are thousands of like-minded lovers out there for you; trust us.

Ready to navigate the dating scene as a kinkster? We’re here to help. Most online dating guides focus on vanilla love, so we’re here to provide additional tips for the kink world and kinky dating. You’ll be coupled up with a kinky sweetheart in no time. If you want to go on a kinky date, try adding sex toys to your sexual activities, which can boost the intimacy between you and your partner.

Keep on reading to find out more.

Dating and kink: How to get started

Let’s face it. Kink dating isn’t the same as vanilla dating. If you have kinky preferences, you’ve already limited your dating pool. Sadly, most don’t have fun kinks, so finding a partner looks slightly different for the kinky community.

However, the modern world isn’t completely kink-free. Love it or hate it, media like 50 Shades of Gray has taken kink and BDSM into more bedrooms. Unusual sexual tastes are more acceptable now, and more individuals are up for trying new things.

Though kink is more mainstream, you might not want to be with someone who’s never tried it before. If you’re a fully-fledged kinkster, it’s often best to skip the kink-curious newbies and head to the experienced kinksters. However, if you’re willing to tone your desires down and teach someone new, you could broaden your search.

Questions to consider

Starting your kinky dating journey is all about assessing your needs. Would you be willing to teach a vanilla partner? Or do you want to stick with the experienced? Only you can decide; there are no guarantees vanilla partners will want to learn.

To get clear on your expectations, ask yourself these three questions:

– What am I looking for?

– What can I bring to the table?

– What are my boundaries?

Without knowing yourself, dating can be extremely hard. Though it sounds cliché, the best way to find a partner is to find yourself – especially if you’re in the kink scene. So, take some time and embrace an evening of soul-searching before you hit up the apps.

Dating never comes with any certainties. Keep an open mind throughout the process and enjoy meeting and greeting new people. At the end of the day, it’s all about fun and connections.

Where to find kink mates

Exploring potential kinky partners can be categorized into two areas: offline and online avenues.

Online Platforms:

a. Kinky Dating Apps: Specialized dating apps dedicated to kink-oriented connections can efficiently filter out vanilla preferences. Platforms like CollarSpace or Feeld offer detailed profiles showcasing age, kinks, dominant/submissive preferences, and location. These apps provide in-depth information about potential matches upfront.

b. Standard Dating Apps: While not exclusively for kink, mainstream dating apps like OkCupid or Tinder allow users to specify their sexual preferences. Although they might attract some users unfamiliar with or unsuitable for kink relationships, these platforms can serve as alternatives if specialized kink apps seem overwhelming.

c. Online Communities: Platforms like FetLife offer a social network for kink enthusiasts but aren’t explicitly designed for dating. Various online forums and communities cater to kink interests, fostering connections and discussions but may not be primarily intended for dating.

Offline Venues:

a. Play Parties and Clubs: These gatherings provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals in a more immersive environment. While connections can be made, keep in mind that play parties are often noisy, making it challenging to forge new connections. However, they offer exposure to different scenes and experiences.

b. Munches: A more relaxed alternative to play parties, munches gather kinky individuals in casual settings like bars or cafes, emphasizing social interaction without any play involved. This environment is conducive to meeting new people and networking within the local kink community.

By exploring these diverse avenues—ranging from specialized apps to offline events—you can maximize your chances of finding a compatible kinky partner who shares your interests and desires.

How quickly can you communicate your kink to your partner?

When introducing kink desires to a partner outside kink circles, it’s crucial to navigate the conversation respectfully and gradually, especially in a new relationship.

The key is to start slowly, integrating socially acceptable kink aspects like dirty talk or light spanking into sexual activities. This gradual approach allows you to gauge your partner’s interest in these behaviors and initiate an open conversation about your desires when they seem receptive.

Tips for initiating the kink conversation:

Direct Communication: Avoid relying on hints. Clear, open communication is essential. Expecting your partner to decipher subtle clues can lead to misunderstandings.

Honesty: Be truthful about your desires. Concealing your needs can lead to dissatisfaction. If your partner isn’t aligned with your desires, it might be best to part ways amicably.

Respect and Validation: Acknowledge that both your desires and your partner’s are valid. Approach the conversation as an open dialogue rather than a debate to avoid conflict.

Gradual Progress: If your partner expresses openness to kink, introduce it gradually. Negotiate small steps to incorporate kink elements into your sex life, respecting their comfort levels.

Knowledge Sharing: Educate yourself and share reliable information about kink during the conversation. Researching and understanding kink thoroughly will facilitate a clearer discussion.

Finding Common Ground: Begin by discussing mutual desires or interests. Understanding each other’s preferences helps create a comfortable atmosphere for the conversation.

Calm Communication: Approach the conversation calmly and naturally. Treating it like any regular discussion can ease tension and aid in clear communication.

Reassurance and Connection: Remind your partner of your attraction and emotional connection. Assure them that kink desires are another way to deepen your relationship.

What if your partner isn’t interested?

Sometimes, partners may not share the same desires, which can strain the relationship. However, respecting their boundaries and desires is crucial. If engaging in your fetishes is non-negotiable for you, seeking a partner aligned with your preferences might be necessary.

Remember, not all relationships are perfectly aligned sexually. If it becomes a deal-breaker, it’s important to recognize the mismatch without compromising each other’s boundaries.

In conclusion, dating should be enjoyable and fulfilling. While discussing kink desires may seem daunting, honesty and respect pave the way for healthy conversations and relationships. Best of luck in your dating journey, and remember to approach discussions with honesty and sensitivity.